Saturday, January 7, 2012

The Phamily

So I just finished making a flyer for Kappa Psi Kappa.  I'm not a computer whiz, but I try my best.  I think it's actually very nice.  But the flyer isn't the topic of this post.  Instead it is the work and effort that was put into making the flyer, and in everything else that I do for my Fraternity.

The other day I was talking to my best friend/soror Kristen, and she said something that hit the nail on the head. She said that it takes the passionate people of the organization to get the work done and progress an organization on to higher plateaus of success.  (Of course I may have taken a little artistic license to that statement, but you get the gist of what she was saying).  My other good friend and soror Shenyca said (at like 3am in the morning while she was working on something for PNK) said that at the end of the day, the work has to be done, and so those with the passion and the drive do it.  Yes we may wear ourselves thin, and no we might not do it with a smile, but we do it, and do it well.  "Be the work great or small, do it well or not at all".

There are have a number of times where I have stayed up late night to complete a task.  Or gotten up early to do something (and Apollo knows I am not a morning person).  It's not necessarily because I want too, or that I even need too.  It's more because I know there is a need for the task to get done.  I'm a Capricorn, and we have a hard enough time as it is allowing other people to do something we deem important.  No one can do work on par with a Capricorns standards.  Hell, we can't do work up to our own standards which is why we are constantly working.  It's in our blood after all...I mean Jesus Birthday is suppose to be December 25th right?  Making him a Capricorn and the ONLY perfect being in the world.

But, at least in the Tau Kappa Phi Phamily, the desire to work hard and push this organization in the right direction is not something exclusive to us Capricorns.  So many people who wear the Baby Blue with pride work tirelessly for our Phamily.  Some of us put just as much time in for TKPhi as we do with work and/or school.  We are not paid in monetary compensation.  We are not paraded through the streets or even given special celebrations.  Many don't even do it for any kind of special recognition, even when you try to recognize them.  Most do it simply because, they believe in our Vision.  Most do it because, it has to be done.  Whether you mumble and grumble or sing, we do the work, because without the work we wouldn't be here or as successful as we are.  TKPhi continues to expand, continues to grow by leaps and bounds across this Nation, and continues to amaze me.  I am always in awe when I see the Phamily together, and the people from different walks of life, and different locales coming together and forming something so powerful it is almost unnameable.  The egregore of unity and passion that is continually being built upon by these people is something almost tangible when we are together.  I now know why we have chosen the White Bengal Tiger as our mascot.  When the tiger roars, you know it.  When it moves, you move out of the way.  The purity and beauty of the tiger is exemplified in everything a member of Tau Kappa Phi does.  The rarity and uniqueness of a white tiger shows that the Kappa Phamily are an elite group, with a spark of life that shines brighter than the brightest star.  

I know this blog entry may be a little biased...but baby when I tell you I love my Baby Blue souled Phamily more than words can possibly express.  There is a joy that I get from them that at one time I thought was unattainable.  A feeling of love that is so powerful it can almost knock you off your feet.  And I'm going to step off my soap box now, before I get my Oprah ugly cry on...

Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Journey to Klear-Kut

So, a few days ago, one of my Bruhs of Alpha Psi Kappa Fraternity, Inc, (alphapsikappa.org) who also happens to be a good friend, told me that she thinks I should go back to school and major in African American studies and specialize in LGBT Greek Lettered Organizations.  She said I'm always talking about them, and I'm so passionate about them.  So after talking to a couple of people, it was suggested that I start a blog instead.  At least for the time being.  Who knows what the future holds?  So this is the result of those couple of conversations.

So, before I start in on exactly why I'm so passionate about LGBT GLOs let me give you a little background on me.  I'm an army brat, lived some of everywhere.  I'm Southern though.  My family is Southern, for the most part, and I'm proud to call myself Southern.  Go figure.  Anyway, I'm one of those people who has known his entire little life, all 26 years on this earth, that I was gay.  Have I ever dated a female?  Yes, a couple of times.  Would I ever do it again?  Nope.  Every been with a woman?  Not at all.  Plan on doing it anytime soon?  No and thank you.  Am I happy with my life?  You better believe it.  Do I care what anyone else thinks?  Not really.  The only person who could probably get me to change is Patti Labelle.  Yes, I worship at the Church of Labelle!

Anyway, I had my first experience with a guy when I was like 10.  Sorry family, but there were reasons that I was so gung-ho on going to Rocky Mount like every weekend, and as much as I love my grand daddy, it wasn't for his company or cooking ^_~.  Anyway, from there I went on to explore my sexuality and finding out who I was.  Climbed some mountains, traveled through some swamps.  Had my ups and downs and all that.  Made some huge mistakes, learned some hard lessons, but I found out all about K.C., and this is why nothing in this life can phase me.  I know who I am and I know my destiny, and no person or opinion is going to steer me off course.

So, fast forward to the summer of 2006.  I got an e-mail from a friend of mine, Nolan, about this Fraternity that was currently accepting applications.  I had never heard of a Kappa Psi Kappa Fraternity, Inc a day in my life, nor did I know anything about LGBT GLOs.  I knew there were plenty of gay men in the Divine 9 fraternities, from personal experience (thanks Louisburg College, Shaw University and Winston Salem State University), but I knew nothing about organizations that specifically catered to the LGBT community.  Needless to say, my interest was piqued.  Upon doing some research I found out that Kappa Psi Kappa was not the only organization out there.  At the time of my search, there was also Delta Phi Upsilon Fraternity, Inc and Gamma Mu Phi Fraternity, Inc.  I was floored!  Here I was, my little rainbow light shining just as bright, and I knew absolutely nothing about this movement.  One that was exactly as old as I was! (Delta Phi Upsilon's founding date is my birthday, down to the year)  So, as quick as you please, I put in an interest application for all three organizations.  I had to know more.  It is one of the blessings/vices of a Capricorn to have to be well informed about everything.

I know you're wondering how I came to choose Kappa Psi Kappa Fraternity, Inc (A little Disclaimer:  I think Delta Phi Upsilon and Gamma Mu Phi are great organizations, so please don't take the following in any type of negative light.) Well, I never heard back from Gamma Mu Phi, actually I don't think they ever got my interest application, as their website wasn't very user friendly at the time.  So that narrowed my choice down to Delta Phi Upsilon and Kappa Psi Kappa.  Both fraternities had contacted me in a timely manor, and were very open with information.  Though Delta Phi Upsilon had no representation in the area at the time, that wasn't a turn off to me.  Building a chapter from the ground up was something that really appealed to me.  Unfortunately, due to some deaths in the family, I felt I wasn't quite ready or in a good mental and spiritual place to sign my name to anyone's dotted line, so I stepped away from both organizations, and they were both very understanding.

Skip ahead to the Spring of 2007, and I was more than ready.  Some personal experiences made me realize that it was time, and this was something I needed for me.  So, once again I contacted both organizations, inquiring into the next steps.  And this is what swayed me.  A Brother of Kappa Psi Kappa found out that I planned on attending DC Pride that year, and told me that a number of brothers would be out there, and I should try and link up with them.  So, there I went with my 22 year old self to DC, bold as you please.  And there I called a particular Brother, who connected me with Tocoby - Brother Percise, who would become my Dean and Chapter Brother.  Tocoby, who wasn't in DC connected me with Adam - Brother Xalted, who would become a close friend and confidante.  Xalted gave me directions to the Green Lantern, where a bunch of brothers had gathered.  I went, and sat in the corner with two friends, and watched these men interact.  I saw how familiar they were with each, laughing and reminiscing.  I also noted how they were generally interested in getting to know me.  Xtraordinaire, Konfuzion and Klimax might not remember me, but I will always remember and be indebted to them.  The were the deciding factor for me.  I came home, paid my coins, put in my application, and lo and behold Lil Boy Blue was created.  A few weeks later, July 27th 2007 at 10:01pm est Brother Klear-Kut, Deuce of the line Law and Order was born, and I have yet to regret that decision or this process.  They'll bury me in these letters, and plant white roses on my grave, I can promise you that.  I've made some great life long friends.  Some of my closet friends Kristen - PHortified and Dedrick - Klosure I know because of Tau Kappa Phi, along with Tesha - PHortress and Richard - Sabotage.  And those are just four on a long list of Brothers Bruhs and Sorors that I call family, that I talk to and vent to daily. Who put up with my slightly evil humor and sometimes vindictive ways.  Who help usher me on my path to my destiny, and I help them.  We laugh and cry together, joke and travel, scream and dance.  We are a Family in every sense of the word, one that I thank the Divine for on a regular basis!

So, now that you know all that.  Why the purpose of this blog you ask?  Why am I so passionate about the LGBT Greek Lettered Organization movement?  Well, it's a lot.  I demand excellence and substance.  I will accept nothing less.  In my younger years, when I was searching for like minded people, the only sense of community I could find was the Ballroom community.  Now, as a recreational pass time I think the Ballroom is a fun and enjoyable thing.  Put as a tool for advancing in life, teaching morals and helping obtain realistic and positive goals, it leaves much to be wanted for.  My journey down that particular road ended quite abruptly.  For me LGBT Greek Lettered organizations, when ran correctly, are the answer for those LGBT individuals looking for a sense of belonging and togetherness.  For that person who wants to surround themselves with genuine love and caring from people who are just like them.  No sense of judgement, no fear of the skeletons in your closet, just a complete and true welcoming.  And then, that same feeling is taken into the community, to repay what has been given, to rebuild was has been lost and build what is needed.  When I say we work for these letters and work to keep them, I mean we work.  It was no cake walk to earn these letters and it definitely has been a skip through a field of daisies to keep them.  But I still don't think I've really made you understand why I am so passionate.  Why Kappa Psi Kappa, Tau Kappa Phi and other LGBT GLOs are always in the back of my mind.  Why I'm constantly thinking of ways to further the message of our organizations.  Well, here's my sad little Oprah story, but please, don't feel sad for me, I look back on this and laugh.

So one day, I came home, after being out with some friends, and my mother was in the kitchen.  She asked me, where I had been.  At this time though, I was 21 and working, and not asking anyone for a single coin, so I simply told her I was out with friends.  She told me that while I was out, some man called for me.  She accused me of sneaking out to be with said man.  I asked her how could I sneak when I was driving my car, that I put gas in, and proceeded to walk away.  She then TOLD me, that I, her son, was going to die of AIDS.  Beloveds let me tell you, you have not felt pain until you have had your Mother tell you that you are going to die, with as much emotion as if she was telling you the time.  So, dumb struck, I left, stayed with a friend, and cried until there was nothing left in me.  I went on with my day in a complete haze, sometimes scared, sometimes sad, and a lot of the time  very angry.  I prayed on it, asking the Divine what I needed to do, where was the unconditional love and support that I needed to push through this thing.  And in my inbox was the golden ticket, that e-mail from Nolan about Kappa Psi Kappa Fraternity, Inc.

That is why I'm so passionate about LGBT GLOs.  Not just because KPsi literally saved me from going down a very dark road, that could've lead to no where but a very dead place.  I'm passionate because these organizations, the men and women who are in them, have realized that we are in a real crisis here.  These organizations have the potential to be the shinning example, the guiding light to the LGBT community, that there is a place, there are people there who are upstanding citizens of the world, who only want to effect positive change, and fellowship with one another while doing it.  We are targeting a niche that needs help in a desperate way.  The gay community is the black sheep of the world family, especially in the African-American community.  People are willing to disown their children, and even leave them to the streets.  Families forever turn their backs on their own blood, friends disassociate and turn cold, all because of who someone loves.  LGBT GLOs are there, to let you know, you are not alone, you do not have to struggle alone, you do not have to cry alone.  We are there to fight the fight with you, to celebrate your joys, further your goals and the collective goals, wipe your tears, catch you before you fall, dust your off and start all over again.  We may not have the numbers of longevity of the Divine 9 organizations, but our passion, and our righteous cause is just as real and just as pure and just as needed as those organizations.

Recently I was sitting on a panel for a LGBT Greek Discussion, and a woman there, who is a lesbian, a former member of an LGBT GLO and a member of a NPHC Sorority said to me.  "Realness, our organizations [NPHC] were founded when people were getting killed for being black" and I responded.  "Our organizations were founded when people were getting killed or killing themselves for being gay."  That is why I am so passionate, and will continue to be passionate and proud.

Hope you enjoyed this first posting of my blog.  There will be plenty more to come, because as Tha SeKwAl said, I'm always talking about LGBT Greeks.  

Kappa Psi Kappa Fraternity Inc: kappapsikappainc.org
Phi Nu Kappa Sorority Inc: phinukappa.org
Alpha Psi Kappa Fraternity Inc: alphapsikappa.org
Delta Phi Upsilon Fraternity Inc: dphiu.org